Attack of the Kretons
|Attack of the Kretons|
|◄Eamon adventure #194►|
14 January 1994 (DOS)|
30 July 1991 (ProDOS)
|EDX set||The Nathan Segerlind Adventures|
|Native format||Apple DOS 3.3|
Segerlind loosely based his adventure on the Groo comic book series by Sergio Aragones, first published in 1982 and with over 120 issues released throughout the 1980s and 1990s. The main character, Groo the Wanderer, is an accident-prone but well-intentioned sword fighter, and a parody of famous sword-and-sorcery heroes like Conan the Barbarian.
You've been tracking a mysterious force that's been levelling towns and villages in recent months, and after much fruitless investigation you find yourself in the village of Oigres, a run-down backwater town where the inhabitants have a strange fascination with cheese dip. Suddenly a horde of barbarians appear — Kretons from the land of Kraut — and attempt to overrun Oigres. You help the locals repel their attack, but the barbarians now surround the town and you're trapped inside.
The Saga begins...
You've been searching for the villain who's been spreading carnage and death across the land like a plague for almost five months, now. In an almost random fashion, towns and villages have been looted, burned and some levelled to the ground. Nobody has seen any armies, and Mages claim that no magic is at work in the land.
You're at a dead end right now. Kreton barbarians have moved south from Kraut because of the Sauer Empire's rule, but they attack in open, and in great numbers. Nobody has any good guesses.
You began to question old drunkards and gossipy women in Bazaars. You found no answers, but some weirdo gave you some cheesedip. You found it odd, but threw it away and went on.
You finally wound up in the hick town of Oigres. With little coin and lots of time, you became trapped in this dump of stagnation. You searched the bizarre town, but all you could find besides basic fare was the unusual dependency the populace had upon cheesedip. In fact the town was cheesedip mad. A bowl of cheesedip accompanied every meal and a watered version was drunk.
However odd, the city didn't prove to be a good place to make any money. A sagging economy, with a pitiful number of merchants, made for poor earnings.
You were on your way out of this bowl of stagnation when a horrified cry broke the monotony!
"Barbarians! A horde of them! Storming the city walls!" cried a sentry.
The ill-equipped guards barely closed the gates in time. Peasants scrambled in and many fell outside the gates. You lent your hand with a bow and shot several of the invaders. They were fat, short and obnoxious. The dreaded Kretons of Kraut! The most bloodthirsty killers on the planet! After a short fight, the Kretons fell back and surrounded the city. Closing off the only road out of this dump.
With your fate apparently sealed, you went to the nearest tavern. So here you are, not quite sober in a crumbling city under siege by barbarians while an unknown menace waits to strike from the shadows. And you, the only decent adventurer in this death trap!
You sit and ponder if you pass out now and the barbarians kill you, would you have an eternal hangover?
Best not find out!
EAG president Tom Zuchowski wrote a walkthrough for Attack of the Kretons that was published in the June 2000 issue of the Eamon Adventurer's Guild Newsletter. Zuchowski notes that Segerlind already included some valuable tips for solving the adventure in his author's notes, but adds a few more of his own that players can refer to if they don't want to use the full walkthrough. He then gives step-by-step instructions for making your way through Oigres and completing your mission.
- Eamon Adventurer's Guild Library Master List
- The Interactive Fiction Database: Attack of the Kretons
- Interactive Fiction Reviews: Attack of the Kretons